last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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