If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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