Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i was born a porn star she said
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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