Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
