I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
