oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
