getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
