Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
