Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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