Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
