Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Operation Purity has been aborted
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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