I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
