She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
