I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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