69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
