Pants 0. Shit 1.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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