Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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