I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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