wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize