I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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