You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You are a genius and a whore.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
