So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
