Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
