Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
