Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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