did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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