All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
