brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
