Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
