just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Your cock deserves a montage
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize