so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
