I smell stomach acid.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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