and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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