youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
