We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I have post one night stand depression
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