I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
