found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize