Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
