I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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