I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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