So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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