she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
