Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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