No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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