I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize