After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
