eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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