I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
