After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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