? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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