Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
