So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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