so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize