It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
