I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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