mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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