Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I love you.
Bad choice
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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