Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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