Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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